It is okay.

During my undergraduate days, I always kept myself busy. If I wasn't doing my uni work, I would be either be busy with club activities or with my family or friends. I love keeping myself busy, because both my time and days passes by faster and it also made me appreciate time more. But then, ever since I moved down here to California to pursue my masters, my schedule has been the total opposite. Because I only have 2 days of classes every week which is on Tuesday night and Saturday morning, the rest of the time of the week, I have practically nothing on. 

Initially, I really did not like it at all, because I was not used to it at all. I have never been this free for a long time. Even before my undergraduate days, I was not even this free during my primary and high school days. Honestly, I also felt guilty, because I knew life isn't supposed to be like this. I thought that at this point of my life, I should not be this free and that I should have a job and start earning my own money and should stop leaching of my parents. I should be independent like how my elder cousin and some of my friends are, in terms of earning a living. 

Then, I applied for several jobs and still have not lucks in getting a job, which made me feel even worst. But then, these past few months, I learnt something I feel that is important. I learnt that it is okay to be wherever and however I am right now. Yes, I am not earning any money at the moment and yes, I am 23-year-old still relying on my parents, but I learnt that it is okay for now. 

It is okay firstly because I am not doing nothing. I am furthering my education, so I could get a better job in the future. It is also okay because not everybody figures out their career in their twenties. 

It is also okay because not everyone's lives is the same. I may not be financially independent now, but this does not mean, I will be a failure in the future. Lastly, it's okay because at this point of my life, I may not be financially successful, but I learnt one of the most important thing in my life, I learnt to love myself. 

So it is okay :) 

Yeoh Eening